The Little Glow Worm

(From March 24)
The little glow worm:

I don't know about you, but I can hardly handle this picture. This is my new niece, and she is absolutely adorable. A big part of her face right now is her eyebrow muscles, which fall down toward her eyes when she is held upright, and which appear to take her great effort to raise high enough to allow her to see clearly. The effect of this effort is her hilarious standard expression, which makes me think she is looking at something absolutely ridiculous, and is trying to figure out why it's in her line of sight. It was the first expression I saw on her face in real life, and I was holding her, looking down at her while she looked up at me -- "What the hell are YOU? You look ridiculous!" -- and I was trying to control my laughter because I was afraid the rapid rise and fall of my chest would make her start to cry. But she just looked steadily on, at the ridiculous puzzle that is Auntie Brie. 

More...

I knew I thought she was adorable, and I am so proud of my brother and my sister-in-law for making something so beautiful and for being so good with her. But I was unprepared for some of my reactions. For instance, I expected that I would be irritated or annoyed if a baby was crying a lot, but (over the very short time I was there) I wasn't annoyed at all, I just thought she sounded funny and then I wanted to make her feel better.

The oddest response I had, though, is almost embarrassing to put down here, since I am not her mother or anything. But there was one point when she was crying, and was absolutely inconsolable. She wasn't hungry or wet, or even tired, she just wanted to cry. So her mother put her head in the nape of her neck and bounced her to try to calm her. It didn't work right away, so there she was, all nuzzled up, heaving and crying. And I felt this tiny sadness that she was uncomfortable in some way and couldn't be consoled. But then, suddenly, I had this flash to the future, when her mother would be gathering her up into her arms because she had a real reason to cry; that some boy she liked had hurt her feelings, or someone had teased her. I had this overwhelming sense of helplessness and pain thinking that there would ever be a time when she would be sad. I almost started to cry myself, it nearly broke my heart.

How the hell am I supposed to handle these feelings about my own children? How do mothers do it? I can't even handle thinking that my niece will ever be hurt. I might be a mess of a mother when my turn comes.

Awww... the sleeping baby with her perfect little lips!