Keeping science fun

One thing I've discovered about the Ph.D. program (at least the one in which I am enrolled) is that it is very easy to lose one's "stoke."
Click to read what's happening in my brain...

It is easy to get caught up in the minutiae that allow you to progress (eeeeeever so slowly) toward earning that degree, and you forget that you came here for the knowledge, experience, and above all because some time, at some point in the past, you were actually passionate about science. Excuse me, passionate about Science. Sometime, amid the tests and expectations and lack of guidance you encounter as you slog your way through the muddy, murky, slimy process, you stop going to seminars and classes and lectures that are outside your field because you just want to FINISH.

I have been studying for my oral exams lately (only 6 weeks to go and I have barely begun to scratch the surface of what I need to know/do), and a few things have come to my attention: I don't enjoy studying like I used to (and YES, I used to); I don't attend many seminars anymore (this is particularly sad); I don't know what people around me are working on to a level of detail that would allow me to explain their projects to others. What happened? I came to grad school all starry-eyed and hopeful. But now it's become drudgery. What? I came to this table with the understanding -- nay, the EXPECTATION -- that I wouldn't make a stash of cash, but had accepted that as fair payment in exchange for a career that allowed me to do what I most love in life: explore, learn, share. Have I lost that loving feeling?

I think not. Again, it's been so easy to get caught up in all the little things that I need to do, that I have lost sight of all the things that I get to do. So it's all a matter of perspective. I've just had to realize that I am doing what I want, even if there are little bits of unpleasantness here and there demanding my attention, more often than I'd like. Of course, there are lots of other things I want to do in addition to science -- crafts, art, creative writing -- that are hard to do alongside.

Since pulling my head up out of my books and blinking away the old view, I have had much more fun studying. I have attended (and been interested in) more seminars in the past month than in the previous six. I have a better idea about some people's research and will probably try to learn more about what they do after my orals. It's been such a good week for my morale. There have even been more creative ideas banging around in my head lately, both totally outlandish and pretty practical: an idea for a battery that I've never heard anyone talk about (will have to research this more thoroughly in April); three new ideas for short stories; a new idea for a separate short book (which I have almost written already, just need to illustrate -- in April!); an illustration that I'd like to get on canvas; a design for a laptop bag that I can't WAIT to make... So much stuff!

I can't wait to get started on turning some of that potential energy into kinetic. In the meantime, I was planning to update the blog with interesting tidbits that I learn or remember (like the previous post) as I study for my hellish exams. Hope your interest is piqued! (By the way, who's figured out where that nifty phrase comes from? Kate, I'm looking at you!)

I tend to daydream about not working, which makes the working take longer...